lies lies lies

" He is nothing to me"
" we are just friends"
"i have no more feelings for him"
"it wont bother me even when he is dating other girls"
AND SO ON......


these are the things that i keep telling myself so that i dont keep liking him.. but no matter how much i lied to myself i also knew it no matter how hard i try to cover it up.... human beings are really stupid in doing things that they know will hurt them in the end... i am one of the stupid human beings... irritated with myself and damn annoyed...... some one please help me .....

Dreams?

i just chat with an old friend.. He is working already and plans to own his own bussiness by next year.. He is starting a entertaiment biz with his friends.. It sound cool you know? Im wondering when will I find my dreams? i realise i dont have any realistic kind of dreams.. Except wanting to play i cant think of anything i wanted to achieve in my life..

Maybe because i was brought up with everything i want and all the love i can get.. For some of my friends to gain good result is one of their aim but i have no urge to do so.. Its like just let it be, i dont really mind the results. I dont mind as long its above the average . I wont try my best to try and achieve the best or the highest although i know i can do it if i wanted to.

I wish i will be transported into a different kind of places to experience new kind of things where i will find what i want in life.. I wants to help people but i dont think im not that charitable enough.. I have a real life model who has been trying her best in her work and study.. I just feel amazed but i dont have any motivation to be just like her..

I am committing one of the sins which is sloth.. Lazy lazy lazy..

i realise its really the time to learn to to express my feelings better by alphabets since im not so good at words... in the mean time i get to improve my english is some sort of way..

Last saturday after my Ko-K exam, i was infact planning to watch a play at KLPAC. I was thinking to ask elaine to join me but it turn out i went to her place instead.. Haha... The first thing she said when she saw me is " what happen to you?" I was shock because i was thinking " Do i look fatter since the last time she saw me which was 2 months ago." or " Is there something wrong with my face?" .. However she said i lost weight which is a good thing.

Last saturday was Halloween which is on 31/10/2009. Halloween is a day where all the ghost and gouls come out from hell to celebrate for a day for the westerners. Its the same thing as chinese hungy ghost festival except westeners dressed up as ghost or ghouls while chinese are not allowed to do so to avoid crashing with the real ghosts and ghouls. Halloween's day is also the birthday of david( my bro's friend) and Janice( elaine's cousin)..


There is something wrong with the KTm system so there was so many delays. i was stuck in 3 delays until i finally got to board the 4th train to KL central. luckily i manage to rush into the train to elaine's place at KL central interchange station..I met elaine outside her apartment. We went to sunway pyramid by taking the taxi which cost around RM8 where the increasement was RM1 since the last time i come. We went to get tickets for 2 movies which are time traveller's wife and Jennifer's body.. Before we watch Time traveller's wife, we went to eat korean food.. it was nice and i had a hard time choosing since all the food seems delicious.. mouth watering foods.. hehe..

We watch time traveller's wife. It was a very romantic story where the plot is almost exactly as the book but they missed the last part where when the heroine was old and facing death, her husband ( the young time traveller) who was dead long time ago came and accompany her till she die.. I do wish when i m old and dying my husband is still there and besides me..

After the movie, we went to Italiannes to celebrate elaine cousin's janice birthday.. Actually janice has a twin brother so its 2 person's birthday.. we tried the new sicillian pizza and a new desert hazel and chocolate cake.. The portion of the pizza and cake was just enough or more than enough for 2 person.. sicillian pizza has powdery anchovies on top of it.. The cake was too sweet and hard although its taste nice in all the nuts in it.. But elaine said its like eating real chocolate..
As the Italiannes restaurant was beside Friday we got to take pictures with the waitress and waiter from Friday since They were dressing up as dead pirates as the theme for halloween in Friday was Pirates of the Carribean..



Anyway after the dinner , we went for the next movie jenniefer's body. This is the most scariest movie ever.. DO you know why? Because i have no idea it was a horror movie so does elaine.. The reason elaine said she choosed the movie because one of the actresses is megan fox.. I screamed the loudest since i was shocked or you might say im the only one who screamed for the mvoie in the part where megan fox was covered in blood and suddenly jumped on the car.... But it was fun anyway screaming to destress since thats the main reason i went to visit elaine..

i was supposed to go back on sunday but elaine convinced me to stay for a night again since she is luring me into nice foods... We stayed at elaine's home until dinner.. We ate steamboat for dinner which was nice and packed with people.. Can you imagine there are so many steamboat restaurants at sunway.. Loh and his friend Sean joined us for dinner.. Actually is loh who picked us up from elaine's apartment which save us from walking to the restaurant.. hehe.. After bath i went to sleep early so that i can wake up around 3 to study. However i think because elaine's room was so nice to sleep i didt wake up until she woke up by switching on the light... I set the alarm and didt heard it rings...

Monday which is today. i followed elaine and her cousin to take the train to KL central. At first i am going back straight away to my school however i still managed to join elaine and her cousin for breakfast at McD and get into the train that goes by my school...

Im supposed to start studying since i have been playing for 3 days but im still lazying around by watching coraline.. A ghost animated cartoon where buttons are the esentials of the story.....

Bored monday or rather black monday for other people

IM bored........ although i have so many homework to be done but im still so lazy to get move on.. or u might say motivated. watch movie the whole day and done only a small part of my assignments. im still thinking to post a new post on criteria on my boyfriend but i havent thought of anything. because as you can see boyfriend comes and go, while husband stays forever thats why is is even harder to set criterias for a boyfriend. im feeling rather down. i think my friendship with a friend of mine is on the tip of an iceberg.. I hate uncertain things which is so bothersome.Should or should not i confront my friend to rebuild our friendship or just let it be to rot?? Last saturday i went to church with my friend and got to know a few more new friends which makes me quite happy. I feel like going to church makes me relaxed even when i have a lot of anxiety. What shock me the most is i sign up myself as a part time helper for the churh's sunday school.. The only thing i hated to go to church in KL is cause i need to wait for the bus.. WAITING irritates me the most.. But i guess i need to cultivate my patience. wuahaha....

Communication with non-verbal kids

Today i went for a workshop about communication with kids who have delayed speech. I found out that my first year of taking psychology is like a waste. I only studied for the sake of exams but not for the sake of understanding. I am Quite dissapointed with me . i realise a lot of teachers and parents with special kids always attend this kind of workshop in order to understand and help the kids while me as a future psychologist dont understand what i am studying up to now cause for the sake of passing wiht flying colours. Now i no longer care for my result ( well i do care) but not as much but to understand of what i am learning no matter how hard it is and how boring it can gets.I really admire those parents who attend the workshop because they want to help their kids more. I really love the teachers because they are willingly to learn to just to help their students eventhought they have no relationships in blood. I think nowadays not much teachers like these are left. The speaker her self is a speech therapist with 17 years of experience. But im kindda jealous with my coursemates... hahaha because they joined the universities's survey and tend to earn marks plus allowance. i which i could have allowance too... wuahahaha

startting to explore again

After so so so long, i just realised that i am so behind everything... Every single moment... Im sorry my friends.... Forgive me and let me start over again although i might still be being absent minded sometimes... a lot of times actually... wuahaha... Let me reintroduce myself and accept me for who i am...


"HI , Im sharon. Nice to meet you!!"

i guess i should learn how to open myself up..